delerium of disorder
by bustamaverik
Summary: a technological wonderland or a prison of light and sound. the city of Tokyo-3, NERV, Evas. to Shinji these things were the instruments of his psychological torture. to Asuka it is a measure of pride and ability. to Rei it is a duty held steadfast. to Vasily its an opportunity he would have never had. war, crime, drama, angst, OCxShinji friendship.
1. New Leaf

i dont own NGE or any of the canon characters. those are owned by studio Gainax and Anno. this story containts coarse language, violence and some adult situations. reader discretion is highly advised.

enjoy

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...

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7 months prior

_Ragged breathing_

"one day..."

_drooling blood_

"someone like me"

_feeling cold_

"is going to kill you"

_going home_

"and your whole...fucking...race, chinaman"

_laughter_

"im going to enjoy killing you, ruskaya"

a gunshot echoed through the trees, then all was silent except for the wingbeat of the few birds that were left, flying off into the distance on an otherwise peaceful day in the hielongjiang.

…

…

…

"You're gonna be late you know!" misato shouted from her room as she finished plucking her eyebrows in the mirror.

Her eyes had dark circles again, age and beer were catching up to her, still beautiful as ever, just a little rusty on this particular morning

Shinji was busy packing bentos in the kitchen, something that he had begun to treat more as the daily routine that was happily checked off a to do list rather than a sign of servitude.

"todays the big day huh!" misato said to him. she sauntered out of her room wearing only a yellow half tank and shorts, a towel lazily draped over her broad yet feminine shoulders. She made a beeline for the fridge. Grabbing her usual hangover breakfast of beer and leftovers before sitting down at the table

"i dont know what you're talking about misato-san. Its just Tuesday" shinji said hurriedly tying off the boxes in nice neat bows interlacing his housemates chopsticks.

"dont be silly, shinji-kun! Its your birthday today!" misato said in an almost exasperated tone

In truth shinji had not forgotten his birthday, nor did he really wish to forget. Truthfully he felt sort of banal about the whole thing. He just wanted to have a nice day for the sake of having one, not because people felt they owed it to him. Besides, he always asked the heavens for the same thing on his birthday and to no avail. The last four years of living in this city and working for nerv had kinda taken its toll on his personal life.

He just wanted a friend. At this point he would take pretty much anyone. But his social status as one of the children of nerv had turned him into a rather popular pariah. Touji had gone off to college early to play basketball, despite his obviously less than stellar grades, somewhere along the way he developed a penchant for lose women.

Kensuke, his once most trusted friend had signed up for military service in the JSSDF and had left the city months ago. Now stationed in the north of the country some two hundred miles away. He still wrote Shinji quite often, but it was not the same as having the dork with the video camera grilling him every time he came back from training. Begging him for answers, secrets, training, and of course pictures of his guardian's "Awesome tits" as he used to say.

He felt very alone now. Still surrounded by a lot of the same faces. Asuka had blossomed from a firey young woman into a full grown dragon lady in no time flat. Now even more incredibly attractive, even by those with high standards. Rei of course was still Rei, demure, enigmatic, emotionally inexpressive. Although she had filled out a bit more in certain areas and got a little taller, the biggest change that Shinji saw in her was her new found ability to occasionally smile when something she fancied caught her eye. Like vegan restaurants...or his father.

"that's right Shinji-kun you'll be seventeen today!" Misato chirped after downing half a pint of ybisu

"well, I hope that no one decides to give me birthday punches today at school" he grumbled somewhat serious "uh, Misato-san...i gotta get going. If anything important comes up, give me a call...also, if uh...if Asuka comes home before I do, shoot me a message so I can just go for a walk or something"

Shinji rushed out the door while finishing his last sentence, well aware that a rebuttal from his guardian would have come soon after his exchange with her. He slid the door closed behind him and looked at his watch. A slight panic overtook him and he began a brisk jog down to the station where he would hop a tram to school

Misato on the other hand, stared at the closed door, eyes half lidded and thought to herself about her ward. _'if he doesn't want anything for his birthday...well he's almost a grown ass man, he can make his own choices'_

she finished her beer and began slurping down her salty bowl of miso. She soon finished and opened the fridge to grab another beer to finish her breakfast ritual when she saw her phone buzz on the table

once, twice, three times.

"Hi, Rits" she mused to herself. It was a message. A short one, but the three words it read would shock Misato to her core, as she stared closer at it her mind began to race and her vision blurred a little bit. This was bad, but there was nothing she could do about it. Ultimately commander Ikari had the last say in what was going to happen at NERV and there was not a damn thing she could do about it.

_'I knew this day would come. Fuuuuuck. I hope this ends up better than the Magi predicted'_

She went to her room, slipped on her uniform and looked at her phone one more time before exiting the building. The message read only three simple words, in bold, block text

**WE FOUND HIM**

…

…

…

"i came as soon as heard the news!" the young woman sanding in the berthing to the interrogation cell was not the purple haired major. But the second child Asuka Langley Shikinami. Frankly she was pissed. and to be even more frank, she was intimidated by the look she was getting from the bottle blond doctor Akagi and her own guardian major Katsuragi

"how the hell did you find out about this asuka?" the major asked with a stern look on her face and annoyance in her eyes.

"i read your phone while you were changing, there is only one he that you could be talking about..." she said with indignation and privilege in ringing from her voice "the fifth"

the two older women stared at her then looked at each other, and with a slight shrug of the shoulders from one and a raise of the unbleached eyebrows from the other they turned to face their guest, Through a plexiglass screen. A young man of seventeen who looked to be in his twenties. His face was tired and bruised. He was wearing a bit that kept him from speaking. But his steel gray eyes were saying the only thing that he needed to. _anger._ He had a large frame, not overly muscular, but rather stout, he was easily over six feet tall and had a mop of spiky brown hair on the top of his head with the sides neatly shaved to the skin. He was heavily yet poorly tattooed, more so than any young man his age should be. But the most discomforting feature he possessed was the focus he had as he stared at the personel in the room across from him.

He was handcuffed to a bench shackled to the floor. He could not move more than an inch.

"why is he handcuffed?...and why is he wearing a gag?" Misato asked as she put her hand on her sidearm, all of the sudden feeling uneasy about this situation. Ritsuko calmly explained

"he thought we were Chinese. when we went to extract him from the hospital he was asleep. When we woke him up he though we were abducting him." she said as she pulled a dainty pack of extra slim cigarettes from the pocket of her lab coat and sparked one up.

"we weren't abducting him though right? I mean we cleared this with his home government, right?" misato asked. Holding out two fingers, asking for one of her own.

"well his government knew, but the hospital staff weren't told and the staff didn't tell him we were coming so...technically we were? He injured four people when we were trying to snatch him up" Ritsuko explained.

"...so...why the gag?" Asuka asked, a little unnerved

"one of our guys tried to take him down by force and he bit his face...so...i kinda tazed him" Ritsuko admitted with a tone of embarrassment.

"OK...wow! what the fuck, Rits!? Are we really that far into the bottom of the barrel here? we're picking up the criminally insane, now?"

"hes not insane, hes a soldier, and before that he was a partisan. Hes been fighting in the Russo Chinese war since he was about eight years old. The Marduk institute lost track of this kid _then_ and we found him _now_. For the last two years hes been in the regular army. He was wounded a couple months back pretty bad and we figured now was the best time for a snatch and grab mission. His biological father worked at an Evangelion production facility in Novaya Zemlaya. He was staying with his aunt and uncle in the Amur region when the war reignited. He was unable to leave and all his family down there were either killed by the Chinese or starved."

"what happened to the father? Does he know about it this?" Misato asked

"Negative hes dead. Suicide just a few short months after the war broke out. The mother disappeared years before then, he probably doesn't even remember her. After the disappearance his father had to sent him to Amur. He couldn't do research on the Eva's and watch his son at the same time" Ritsuko lit another cigarette and took a long drag of it before sitting in the chair facing their new potential hire. She crossed one leg over the other and blew a smoke ring at the plexiglass. The boy sitting there simply rolled his eyes

Misato thought about the consequences of bringing someone like this into NERV. What would happen to the organization, morale, discipline, and of course the other pilots, whom she had come to love like her actual children.

After what seemed like far to long a silence, she asked the question on both her and asuka's mind

"is he safe?"

"after I get done with him he will be. He's not irrational, he was just scared." a smirk crossed the bottle blonde doctor's face

"scared? What a fucking baby" asuka laughed "just wait until you see an angel. These jackboot goons will look like ants in comparison"

The boy smiled and mumbled something. His eyes looking deceptively warm despite their fatigue

"remove his bit I wanna hear the dog bark" asuka chirped, somewhat excited

"asuka! This really isn't professional. You're going to get him riled up again, I had just brought him back down. Im trying to avoid using sedatives here.." the good doctor said as she snubbed out her cigarette

"no, she's right..." misato said "remove the bit, I wanna talk to him."

ritsuko looked at one of the gaurds in the corner of the cell and nodded. The guard politely went over and yanked the quick release of the gag before depositing it in a box in the wall.

"what's your name?" misato asked, doing her patented command stance, standing up all of five foot four, her hands on her hips.

"you take me here and dont know who I am?" he laughed then looked at misato with an earnest smile

"you're Vasily Illyich Komanov, a child chosen by the marduk institute, lost as a child and now found" misato said with a rather stern and somewhat cocky look on her face. She knew the child would try to intimidate her, she also knew it wasnt going to work

"you know my name...why am i here"

"i swear to god if we have another wondergirl on our hands im going to lose my shit" Asuka seethed

"what do you mean? Could you elaborate?" Misato asked in a somewhat more concerned tone "we need to know if you're worth our time or not"

vasily paused for a moment and looked down at the recently waxed floor. The shiny boots of the guard reflecting the halogen lights in the ceiling. he imagined the smell of the three women in the other room. It had been a long time since he smelled a woman. At least one that didnt smell of decay or filth or hospital soap.

"...give me a cigarette, please" vasily asked in a tired and listless tone

the guard looked at the three women in on the other side of the lexan as if asking for permission before the major gave a slight nod. The guard took out a crushed pack of menthol cigarettes and put on cautiously in Vasily's mouth, struck the wheel on his lighter and lit it.

Vasily inhaled deeply and let the smoke fill his lungs, a familiar feeling that he had waited all to long for in this cell and an aura or calmness began to emanate from him. He smiled slightly and closed his eyes, giving himself pause as the three women in the room waited to hear his response, some more patiently than others.

"my name is Vasily Illyich Komanov" he stated flatly "I don't know why I'm here. But please don't torture me, I have nothing you want anyways."

to this request three different reactions spread across the features of each woman's face. Shock for Misato, worry for Ritsuko and disgust for Asuka

"What a baby" Asuka said in much more calm tone.

Ritsuko stood up from the chair she was in and briskly took the short three steps to the plexiglass screen before standing next to Misato and hurriedly stating

"we're not going to torture you in any way. I can assure you, any treatment that you have received thus far is because of your violent actions toward our personnel and me. Now, are you really Komanov" she folded one arm over the other and held her cigarette lazily in her left hand

the young man shook his head

"yes, I'm Vasily Illyich Komanov, from the Amur...now could I please get some food, ma'am. I'll answer all your fucking questions, just please get me some food that doesn't suck, please"

…

…

…

like any other day. On the way to school. Riding the train, a somewhat short ride, nothing really out of the ordinary. The dead eyed minimum wage workers getting on the train and heading home from their night shifts, unwashed hands clutching the sleek silver poles. Older more clean cut types in suits with briefcases headed to god knows where. And of course the obligatory homeless man reeking of urine and sleeping while sitting on the seat marked handicapped.

Shinji looked up from the world of music that he had surrounded himself with only to find that they were nearing the stop that his favorite red eyed crush would always sit at before boarding the train. Creepily he had to admit that occasionally he had left early just to see her walking to the train stop and waiting. A perfect picture of inhuman poise sitting amongst the grey concrete of the fortress city. An orchid in a gravel pit.

He had made his intentions about her known some time ago albiet in his own way. A meal he cooked especially for her. The request for just a simple walk around campus during lunch, walking her home from school, that sort of thing. Today, he felt, was going to be different. Today was his birthday. Even if he had a few mixed feelings about today, generally good things had happened on the last few.

Today was the day he would ask Ayanami on a real date. A real grown up date. He let in a breath sharply as his SDAT player wound back up and thought to himself _I musnt run away_

…

…

…

walls. Grey. Cold. Unfeeling walls. The incredibly spartan apartment had not changed much in the years that she had lived here. With the exception of a few small curious that dotted the pale girl's small dresser. A pair of glasses neatly secured inside of a black faux tortoise shell case. A small picture of the three children wearing the pristine and sterile clothing given to them by the sea life park. A completely wilted and black sunflower given to her by Shinji just a few days after she had shielded him while he waited for positron cannon that his Eva wielded to recharge. The kind of things a usual girl would have, although given during or after unusual circumstances.

A pair of clean white panties clung to her petite frame. Usually the only thing that she wore around her apartment. It sometimes worried her that she had not fully felt the affects of puberty as she had read about in the health books at school and as she had heard about her classmates gossiping about or like Asuka rather loudly and brashly announcing.

She examined herself in the mirror. She still had a small frame, just a couple of inches over five feet tall. Although she did not look unhealthy, She couldn't have weighed more than a hundred pounds No ribs showing or vertebrae poking out, no knobby knees or protruding collar bones. Her breasts had grown to a full A-cup and her hips had widened albeit only slightly. However, her lack of body hair was a troubling thought to her. her armpits and above her womanhood where you would expect to see patches of azure were as smooth as linoleum.

It didn't normally bother her, nothing really did. She didn't do a whole lot of non mission oriented thinking. Unless it came to the two other children who she had learned to care for in her own more subtle way. The relationship she had with Shinji had become an irreconcilable. She knew not what to call him, how to treat him, what the level of appropriate intimacy was. She knew that she had feelings for him and she knew that she liked him more than she liked most people. But the young woman had no idea how to possibly express these feelings, and frankly the young man had not given her much to go on except a few unexpected gifts, impromptu walks and the occasional attempted hand hold that only ended in a blush and apology.

She finished putting on her school uniform, once again inspecting herself in the mirror, before heading out the front door and into the dirty interior corridors of the now decrepit building she had lived alone in since she was a child.

…

…

…

_bing-bong_

the train door closed behind Ayanami and she casually glided through the ever growing crowd of people on the train until she found the person she was subconsciously looking for. The brown haired boy with his faced longingly gazing at the dirty floor. His ears plugged with music to shut out the world, and at this moment embarrassment.

Once the first laid eyes upon the third, she realized that she had embarrassments of her own as the only place on the train left to sit, was next to her unrealized crush. She hesitated before sitting next to him, her hands neatly folded in her lap as she stared out the window on the opposite wall of the train. The two of them were rubbing shoulders but knew not what to make of the situation.

Shinji's cheeks felt hot and he felt butterflies in his stomach as he looked up to see Rei, consciously trying to not look at him. He did not feel sadness at this obvious display of perceived indifference. But instead a warm and fuzzy feeling in his chest as he took out his headphones, cleared his throat and said the only thing that he could think of.

"Good morning Ayanami-san, its my birthday today" _'im a fucking idiot'_

Rei looked at the boy and gave the tiniest wing beat of a moth smile that was there for a second and then gone as she replied.

"happy birthday ikari-kun" _'im not sure where to go with that'_ before turning back to face the window.

A far to long silence came over the both of them. Shinji could no longer muster up the courage to speak to the supposed love of his life. And the bitter thoughts that became his friends once again clouded his brain.

_I thought today would be different...Fuck..._

despite this, he did still feel some comfort at her presence. But this was quickly shrouded in a fog of self loathing and doubt. The words came to his mind in Asuka's chastising voice

_stupid, spineless shinji._

He tried to let go of himself for just a second and actually talk to Rei. Something which he had not been able to accomplish with much depth in years. The self judging and infighting within his own troubled mind continued until a small voice came over the loudspeaker, letting the passengers know their current location, and letting Shinji and Rei know that they had arrived at the stop for their school.

The two pilots sat up. Shinji, awkward and jittery, and Rei, smooth and poised. As they exited down the platform to the street, Shinji continued to steal glances at Rei, not saying a word. Almost wishing that Asuka was here at the moment just so that she could break the ice. Even if she was belittling him, Rei either wouldn't catch it or wouldn't care. But this time something else managed to kill the deafening silence between the two pilots.

An unexpected voice. Not loud and brash, but calm and collected. Small in volume but big in meaning.

"was there something you wanted to talk about Ikari-kun" the young woman said, not taking her eyes off of their school, just a few short blocks down the street at a T junction.

Shinji's words didn't so much as choke in the back of his throat, as much as they simply failed to materialize. He thought for a second before simply and eloquently putting his thoughts out there in the most embarrassing way possible.

"i like you" _'ouch, strike one'_

as soon as the words left Shinji's mouth he regretted them. He instantly wished that he could have gone back in time and kept himself from saying anything at all, let alone something that stupid. However, this concise gesture of affection was not lost on the girl. And she simply replied with

"i like you too Ikari-kun"

with those sweet little words Shinji's entire world lit up. A sudden rush of heat washed over his cheeks and before he could even think about what the next step should be, their hands brushed together while the two of them were in mid-stride. Their fingers intertwined and almost by accident the two of them were holding hands. contentment was starting to wear holes into his mental blanket of negativity. And for a few brief blissful minutes as the two of them approached the school, all seemed right with the world. Sure it was ending, but at least in Shinji's mind they would watch the skies fall together.

However, this heaven on earth was short lived. As Rei turned to Shinji, smiled ever so slightly and said.

"i'll see you at second period Ikari-kun"

and with that she unlaced her fingers from his and was gone, walking through the front door, into the school and into the crowd of teenagers, just becoming a speck of blue amongst the masses. Shinji shifted his book bag, looked at his wristwatch and then headed into school himself. Thoughts of what could be playing out in his head.

….

….

….

the whine of a the major's European rally car on empty streets was the only sound that Asuka cared enough to hear. She was done with the berating remarks. Done being treated like a child. She had accomplished more in her short life than most people twice her age, so why all the bullshit. In her mind she deserved to have a say in what goes on in not only her Evangelion, but the now growing squadron as a whole.

Misato took her eyes off the empty highway into nerv, stealing a quick glance at Asuka who was preoccupied with staring out the window and musing about her multitude of gripes. Misato downshifted, realizing that she had topped out at almost 150 kilometers per hour. Driving with Misato while she was frustrated could be a intimidating for anyone that hadn't ridden an Evangelion launch catapult.

Finally Asuka broke the silence.

"i don't trust him" she said. Still gazing out the window, trying to glimpses of the city skyline

Misato thought for a second. She agreed with the younger woman. She did not trust that...man...in there either. How could that be one of the children the Marduk institute picked to be the pilot of the most destructive, dangerous and awe inspiring war machine that mankind had ever engineered.

"i font like it either Asuka. But we have to get used to it. He's here until he walks away. And from the sounds of it he doesn't have a whole lot to go back to."

Asuka said nothing in response. She didn't even grace her guardian with the attention that a statement of that nature deserved. She simply continued staring out the window. Deep in angry thoughts about the entire situation.

"...when are those tech geeks going to finish retrofitting the multitarget missile system to my Eva?"

Misato pushed her sunglasses up the bridge of her nose and thought for a second. She figured asuka would change the subject if it made her too uncomfortable.

"they're working on it now. You'll also be getting upgraded progressive knives and a prototype small arms system is also being installed"

a small smile began to grace Asuka's face. Sometimes Misato knew just what to say to take the girl out of a downward spiral. A short silence again began to overtake the car. Then Misato decided that there was only one logical thing to do.

"im not going to work today" she said without taking her eyes off the road.

"im not going to school then" Asuka agreed before adding "can we get some ramen or something?"

"well, I suppose. Then we have to do a little bit of shopping for Shinji-kun."

Asuka rolled her eyes at the thought. Although she had softened her stance on the boy in recent months, she still looked at him with contempt for his lack of resolve and his indecisiveness. Two things she found very unattractive. She had hoped over the years that the scared little boy would fade away into a determined and capable man.

"what are we supposed to get him? A pair of balls?" she mused

"i was thinking along more simple lines. you know, something you can buy at a store?"

"we're just going to get him gift cards like we do every birthday for him. He doesn't _like_ anything" she turned to mock her guardian.

"that may be, but we need to at least throw him a party...or something." Misato realized that once again she was going well over 150 and decided to downshift yet again.

"stupid shinji...even ruins my days off." asuka griped

…

…

…

a sterile room. White walls. Bright halogen lights. The only difference between the previous room and this one was the that guest was sitting at a table. Albeit still handcuffed, he had been given the opportunity to quickly shower and eat before the evaluation. He had been given new clothes. Changing out of the grimy and bloody hospital gown and into a blue short sleeve boiler suit similar to the kind that prisoners wear in western countries.

He kept his hands visible as he looked over the table to the good doctor. She was perusing through a few manila folders. Everything from birth certificates to enlistment photos to hospital records. It was all there. His whole life.

Vasily opened his mouth to speak. But Ritsuko held up a hand to stop him and he complied. Not even a single syllable escaping his mouth.

"see, what I dont understand." she said throwing a picture of his basic training graduation. Is how you got in the goddamn army.

"i used a fake name. My dead cousin. When the borzoi were routed, I decided that fighting in the regular army was the only way to stay in the fight"

"ok. That explained why your DNA matches but your enlistment records dont. Now for the obvious question. How do you know Japanese?" she put a folder down and looked over her glasses at him.

"well, my father knew Japanese as did my grandmother. She was a teacher at a university before she retired. My whole family is well educated. Well, not me. I never even got through the fourth grade. I managed to stay fluent by speaking with aid workers as a child. They would give me candy and things like that. They thought it was cute. A little white child speaking Japanese"

"well, it is a little bit strange to find that. Especially such a young child" she gave a half hearted laugh

"i also speak Spanish" he said as he cautiously reached over the table, grabbing a cigarette from the pack and lighting it.

"ole" he said as he exhaled.

Ritsuko looked rather impressed.

"¿dónde aprendiste a hablar español" she asked resting her head on the backs of her hands.

Vasily looked at her with an expression of surprise.

"i was kidding" he said "i have no idea what you just said" he started laughing before biting his lower lip.

"what is an angel?" he fired the question at her like a fucking rocket. To the point and unexpected. "that redheaded girl...before she left she mentioned something about me not having what it takes to _'kill an angel'_...What did she mean by that?"

The blonde doctor straightened her posture and smoothed out her coat. There was no longer any hint of a playful demeanor on her face. Now sitting there instead of the almost friendly psychologist was the professional and closed off Doctor Akagi.

"you will find out when the time comes for that. You'll find out what this massive expenditure of time and money is when I figure out if you're even able to commit to the life altering burden that is working for this organization."

anyone else would have crawling skin at the foreboding tone of the woman sitting across the table. She sounded like a medium telling a detective that he had dug too deeply into a case and was in over his head.

Vasily shook his head.

"oh my god. Are you fucking serious?" he put his face in his hands. "i don't even fucking know where I am right now. Am I on a ship? Am I like on a military base? What the fuck is going on here? You people abducted me out of my bed, then beat me up when I freak out about it. I've been really patient and I think I deserve a few answers here, _Doctor_" he leaned over the table to emphasize his point

Ritsuko leaned over the table and narrowed her eyes at him, sizing him up.

"are you sure you want this? What I'm about to tell you is quite shocking" she said

"lady...shocked me stopped existing when I was like eleven years old and I pulled a PP2K out of my schoolbag and shot up a group of Chinese officers."

Ritsuko didn't even look the least bit taken by this. she expected him to try and flex a little bit when he was uncomfortable with her. She quickly reasserted her dominance

"alright...but don't say I didn't warn you. The truth is a lot more dangerous and a lot weirder than you could possible imagine." she mused as she leaned back in her chair.

...

... END CHAPTER 1

...

on my previous profile i think it was named 'laughingjackal' i published a poorly written and not very well executed story called 'manic depressive' i soon lost interest in writing it when i realized that it was a literary abortion filled with bullshit and OOC behavior. i took out almost every element of the story and stripped it down to bare bones including the OC. i decided to fine tune him and make him a little more a person rather than a mouthpiece. if there is any wondering why i don't remove the old story its because that email account doesn't exist anymore and i don't remember the password. it was about four years ago that craptastic piece was put up.

all reviews are welcome. i hope to publish the next chapter very soon.


	2. positive aspects of negative thinking

Wow. A second chapter. I didn't think this day would happen and I'm sure you didn't either. I still don't own NGE or any of the cannon characters. Reader discretion is still strongly advised.

…

…

…

Shinji stopped on the steps of his school, looking into the doorway, children passing him on all sides as he tried to piece together what he had just accomplished

_that...was...actually pretty cool _

Shinji thought about what he and Rei had said to each other earlier. He wanted to go and find her again, to simply tell her to walk out of that soul crushing school with him. To walk out of their soul crushing jobs. To abdicate their soul crushing duties. To leave the god forsaken city that they had called home for too long.

He briefly imagined traveling with her. The country, the continent, the world even. Seeing different people and different places. The thought gave him a great deal of anxiety, but frankly it was still more comforting than staying in this city. A city made up of lies and strife, Steeped in the blood of the divine and mundane alike. A city that was deemed the hope of humanity and is the most technologically advanced place in the world.

As he came back to reality he realized he was the only person standing out front now. As everyone else had taken their place inside the school. He quickly hurried inside, knowing he was going to get a truancy slip and also knowing how ridiculous someone like him getting a truancy slip was.

_Lunch...i will get to see Rei on lunch_

…

…

…

Misato powered her Renault through the market. The sidewalks were packed with vendors and people, each store front selling a small piece of life for the right price. It was absolutely humming with cars, trucks, bikes and people. Everything from produce to pornography was something that could be bought here.

"I've never been here before?" Asuka said, looking out the window hopefully "what is this place?"

the particular borough they were in was almost entirely populated by Caucasians, Latino's and islanders. Asuka had not seen a Japanese person in blocks In one block they had passed two Balkan import stores, a carneceria and several shops full of miscellaneous goods.

"this is where all the immigrants that came to Tokyo-3 live." Misato turned the radio down as she spoke.

"Mostly good people." she said shrugging her shoulders "I figured this would be a good place to get Shinji something special."

Asuka rolled her eyes and let out a bit of a scoff. She looked out the window to see the streets looking far less homogenous than usual. It looked like people from all over the world had set up their lives here. And they also appeared to be interacting with each other in a pretty civil if not friendly manner.

"you're telling me that we came to the gypsy part of town to buy that idiot Shinji a gift?" she looked at Misato over her sunglasses, pointing out the window over at small gathering of men and women who were watching several brightly clothed Ukrainians busking on the street, playing guitars and dancing.

Misato once again shrugged, not taking her eyes off the road

"i just figured that we could get him something here that we couldn't find anywhere else in the city. A piece of another culture." her voice sounding more defensive.

"Misato, look out the window. There's chickens running around in the streets. The only culture that we're going to pick up here is the kind that needs to be treated with antibiotics" Asuka laughed

Misato's body posture gave out. She slumped in her seat, putting her hand on her forehead.

"oh, Jesus Christ..." she mumbled "Will you just please try to be positive and have a little fun? Oh yeah, that's right. You're German."

"and whats that supposed to mean?!" the redhead snapped

"The last time a German had fun, sixty million people died." Misato's tone was dripping with sarcasm as she downshifted to stop at a red light.

"and the Japanese are the free spirits of the world? I'm pretty sure that the national pastime here is being embarrassed and apologizing for it." Asuka shot her rebuttal back without even thinking

Misato pulled into a parking space on the wrong side of the street, forcing a man driving a small van to stop in the process. She shut the car off and looked at Asuka.

"...so, are you done being negative or do I have to crack a window and leave you in here"

Asuka looked at her guardian with a very judgmental expression laid across her face.

"...I'll go with you, but if you think this is over you're out of your mind" she said, not moving a muscle.

"OK, fair enough." Misato opened the door, scraping the bottom of her door on the high curb. "fucker!"

Asuka held her stomach and let out a genuine laugh at the misfortune of her guardian. "instant karma. I'm not gonna lie, I think this is gonna turn out to be a good day"

…

…

…

"OK. OK. So what you're telling me. In a nutshell. I mean, the short version of what you just told me is that _you're completely fucking insane"_

Vasily shook his hand at the good doctor as he said this. Wild eyed and mouth open he stared at her, waiting for a response.

The good doctor kept her composure. And blew smoke out of her nose. By this point both her and Vasily were smoking like freight trains and the room was actually thick with it. Vasily was visibly shaken yet still in disbelief at the mission statement of NERV

"so...these things...they come from heaven?...And we kill them?" Vasily asked. Even though it had been a good twenty minutes of conversation on the subject, he couldn't wrap his head around the thought of killing an angel.

"well...they don't come from heaven. We're not quite sure where they come from. They are drawn to this place specifically. They aim to destroy all life on the planet by creating the third impact." Ritsuko stated flatly.

"wait..i third impact? They want to drop a comet on us?"

"no. you see, second impact is just what we called a failed contact experiment with one of the angels that was frozen in Antarctica. It destroyed everything. The only way we could explain that to the public without causing an even _worse _mass hysteria was to cover it up with a much more mundane story" she once again stated very flatly.

The new child was begging to show a level of density on the subject the other pilots didn't display when the concept of angels and Evas was explained to them.

"..i heard stories about this you know." he said. Lighting yet another cigarette "when we were fighting in the Amur, I heard rumors of giants in japan. Demons and giants and shit like that. I thought It was just stories that got passed around by assholes"

"well. Believe it now, kid. Because its sure as hell real. You're job is to be a pilot. A very special kind of pilot. An Evangelion pilot. Only a few people in the world are capable of doing this. And moreover, you're going to be piloting on combat missions. Combat missions where you kill angels."

she looked him dead in the eyes and asked the question

"can you handle that?"

Vasily looked down at his wrists which were cut and bruised from the restraints he was put in earlier

"fuckin a right I can handle that"

"we'll see" she smiled. "now...lets give you a little tour"

she stood from her seat and Vasily followed her. The door slid open with a hiss on her command and she stepped out into the hallway, Vasily in tow. As he entered the hallway. He saw two guards were posted just outside the room, both of them armed with carbines

"oh, don't be nervous. They wont hurt you unless you decide to go crazy again" she assured him

Vasily recognized the taller guard as the man that gave him a cigarette in the room where he was restrained, and the other as one of the guard that beat him when awoke from his hospital bed.

"hey, thanks for the cigarette, friend." he said to the taller of the two. "and you." he pointed at other "watch your fuckin' back"

Ritsuko sighed at his posturing but said nothing as she walked to an open elevator and beckoned Vasily into it.

"you coming or not?"

"yeah. I just...i just fuckin' hate that guy"

Vasily bit his lower lip and looked at the floor and the elevator began its ascent.

…

…

…

the droves of people around the school grounds would have obscured anyone but Rei from view. Pallid white skin and bright blue hair made her stand out against a crowd like a perennial in a field of hay. That splash of blue was easy to find amongst the masses.

But for some reason, Shinji could not spot her. He scanned everywhere. The dining area, the track, the pool. There was no sign of her. He wanted to recreate that moment from the morning. He wanted to have that feeling again. To take it and put it in a bottle for a rainy day, opening it whenever he was sad. He looked but to no avail.

_'Is she gone? I saw her in history class...I guess I'll just go to the roof'_

up the staircases he went. The roof was his usual lunch spot. He could be alone. He could watch the city as it moved. And most importantly, if not slightly creepy, he could watch Rei as she stared off. It sounded so insane to him that he could like someone that he had such little dialogue with compared to the other people in his life. But perhaps the dialogue wasn't important. All he knew was, he liked her. He just wasn't sure how to fully articulate it until today.

He opened the door to see the sun shining on the vacant rooftop. A chain link fence surrounding the perimeter keeping any potentially stressed out students from taking a leap of faith. He sat down against one of the air conditioning units and unboxed his lunch. As soon as he pulled out his chopsticks he was startled by a shadow that was cast over him.

"Ikari-kun"

he looked up to see Rei giving a small smile at him. She sat down in front of him and crossed her legs. A genuine smile crept across Shinji's face at the sight of her. He felt a flutter in his heart, as if he was doing something wrong but at the same time something very exciting.

"Ayanami-Chan"

it was the only thing he could think of saying. Perhaps adding the affectionate and familiar suffix to it was a little much after telling her that he liked her only a few hours before. Rei gave a small smile and took his hands in hers. They were rough for his age, a great contrast to the soft hands that held his. When Shinji looked back up at his crush's face he noticed that she seemed to be staring through him, as if in deep thought herself. She broke eye contact and looked away. The two of them were a very awkward sight, but altogether a very endearing one as well.

As she looked back to Shinji, she noticed that he was leaning in. his eyes gently closing and his lips parting. Rei didn't know what to do. A slight flush hit her cheeks and she felt very warm. She leaned in as well.

A small kiss. Nothing graphic or vulgar. Just a small kiss. Her lips parted as she felt his hands wrap around her waist. He started leaning her back on the rooftop as he advanced on her. Rei draped her arms over his shoulders as the two continued kissing. The two of them went on like this for a minute or so until Ayanami put her hand on his face and gently broke the kiss. Stroking his face, she looked into his eyes and let out a small laugh and in turn Shinji did the same.

"that was...that was..."

before he could continue Rei put her thumb over his lips, her palm still gently stroking his face

"Ikari-kun...let us just have this moment together"

she turned around and laid against him. The two of them settled into a comfortable position as he laid his hand on her bare thighs. He thought for a second if that was OK but quickly dismissed it, simply letting his mind wander. She nuzzled closer to him and put her hands on top of his. As she moved snuggled closer into his chest Shinji cast his gaze downward at her. The scent of her shampoo filling his nostrils. Even though it was a sterile smell, he didn't care. Over the years it had come to be _her _sterile scent.

_'There is nothing that can ruin this day'_

…

…

…

the streets of the refugee sector were anything but clean. A random homeless man sleeping on a pad made of cardboard was not an uncommon sight here. The sidewalk was dark gray with splashes of black filth, old discarded chewing gum and cigarette butts. On top of that the entire neighborhood smelled of urine and old grease.

Asuka could not be more thrilled to leave the dingy streets and get back into Misato's roadster. Even if she had to go to this slum to get that idiot a birthday present it was still better than spending a day at that sophomoric establishment that this city had the nerve to call a place of learning. Its not like she needed it anyways, she was a university grad at the age of thirteen.

She but the bags behind the seat and sat in the car before closing the door, her guardian doing the same.

"thank fucking god! I'm so glad we're leaving" she said as she put on her seat belt. "if one more guy here stares at my legs again I'm going to fucking snap."

Misato started the car and pulled out onto the street, violently flipping a u-turn.

"normally, I would tell you to accept the compliment, but it was a little bit annoying watching people eyeball a high school girl."

within about ten minutes the two of them were on the highway at cruising speed, heading back to apartment to set up for Shinji.

"worth it though, we got some cool stuff. Think he'll like the guitar. I mean, he's pretty musically inclined as it is, what with playing the cello and all."

"i think that guitar is going to sit in the corner of the room collecting dust while he lies on his mattress listening to his obsolete tape player like a depressed teenager" Asuka replied

"...well, regardless, this is going to be a great birthday party"

"woooo" Asuka twirled her finger in the air at Misato's statement.

"well, aren't you just a ray of sunshine!" Misato chirped

"Misato..."

"you just light up my life so much i think I'm gonna call you sunshine!" Misato said, looking at Asuka with an overly happy, open mouthed smile on her face.

"Misato...stop...please" Asuka began to laugh

"oh, there it goes again! Another burst of your sunshine just brightening up my day! I swear Asuka, its impossible to be anything but just happy around you! Its like I'm a plant and you're the sun, giving me life through your rays!" she dramatically gestured toward herself, still mocking the second child 

"OK..OK I get it" the young redhead laughed. "I'm sorry. I'm just in a bad mood...that new dick"

"what about him?" Misato asked,

"i don't know, there's just something about him that makes me...uneasy"

…

…

…

"so has one ever been used on personnel?" Vasily asked

Ritsuko and Vasily exited the elevator and began abreast with one another. Ritsuko was fishing through her pockets as if she was looking for something but stopped and looked at vasily as she replied.

"one what" she asked

"one of the mechs I'm supposed to be operating. It seems like it would be very useful against dismounts" he stared off into space, thinking of the days he spent as a young child playing with gundam action figures and transformers.

"no, they were not designed for use on personnel, they would not be very effective" Ritsuko re-lit the cigarette she put out while she was in the elevator.

"so...like, Its a mobile gun platform for use against the angels?" Vasily asked, holding two fingers out. Asking for one of his own. He took a cigarette, lit it. As he handed her lighter back to her, she responded

"of all the weapons systems that these units posses, including firearms and progressive knives, by far the best attack against the angels has been using them in melee combat. Using the AT field that you and the Evangelion generate to neutralize the AT field of the angel, allowing you to cause physical harm to the angel."

the two of them stopped at yet another elevator at the opposite end of the long hallway and pressed the call button before she continued

"when the angel's at field is down, you attack the core, that's the only way to kill an angel. If the core remains intact, the angel will regenerate."

when Ritsuko had taken a pause in her explanation, she realized that the young man was staring at her with a puzzled look on his face.

"why are you staring at me?"

"well, I was just checking to see if you had a dick growing out of your forehead. Since you don't, that mean's I'm not crazy and that with a straight face you just told me to kill an angel with a force field generated by my mind"

the doctor laughed as she beckoned him into the elevator and pressed in the command to take them to the bridge

"i told you to destroy a force field using your mind and kill an angel with a knife..." she brushed her hair behind her ear before continuing "and trust me when I say that it gets even more strange."

the elevator stopped at the observation deck and Ritsuko walked out of the small sliding door onto the bridge of a massive war room. She turned to see Vasily leaning up against the wall of the elevator, one foot against the wall, head down, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"you coming?" she asked?

Vasily shook his hands out and stepped out into the elevator. He put his hands in his pockets and sighed heavily

"fuck it...lets get weird"

…

…

…

alright. Thats the end of chapter 2. I really hope you guys liked it. I kinda just tried to write it as I imagined the natural progression of events would happen. I personally feel that though the interactions between characters are different, that they are solid. Writing a scene where Shinji and Rei hardly talked was difficult to me as I am a dialogue driven author. Maybe not a very good one, but dialogue driven none the less. Comment and review if you want.


	3. bored and extremely dangerous

I don't own anything in Evangelion. I own some of the OC's though, so please don't steal them. Not like I could stop you anyways. Sorry for the long update time, been dealing with real life shit. This all kinda fell by the wayside. But I wanna get this shit done. Without further ado, delirium of disorder chapter 3  
…

…

…

Shinji couldn't be happier with his life at this point. This day had been better than any fleeting moment of happiness or pride that had filled him earlier only to replaced with a slimy guilt or disdain. He had spent his lunch break with his blue haired crush. In fact the two of them had skipped classes entirely and instead elected to spend the rest of the school day on the rooftop and then walking along the city streets before grabbing yakitori and grilled vegetables at one of the many rows of roadside carts that dotted the sprawling district that held their school.

The initial awkwardness of their first kiss had worn off with casual conversation and many other kisses throughout the day. Sadly like every other day that came before it and every day that was to come, it had to end.

Shinji embraced Rei tightly, holding her close as the two of them stood in front of her door. Rei smiled and blushed. This entire day had been a barrage of emotions for her. Before she got done processing one wave of them, another one of them would wash over her. The day had left her slightly drained, but all the same very happy.

"happy birthday Ikari-kun" she said with a slight smile on her face and a warm look in her eyes. "i wish I had gotten you something to celebrate"

"i think this day was present enough, Ayanami-chan" he said as he held both of her hands in his.

The two of them shared a small moment of silence that was perhaps too long a little too awkward for Shinji. He gave her a small kiss on the lips before she retreated into her apartment for the night. As he walked down the hall and into the dirty elevator, he decided not to beat himself up over not knowing how to tactfully say goodbye after a date. After all it was only his first one.

He pushed the L button and the busted up cart began its decent to the ground floor, making a loud clanging sound and a slight shake every time it passed another floor. Before long he was in the lobby and out the door, making the short but uncomfortable trek to the train station where he would catch his ride home. The worn gray buildings surrounding the station were not a sight that others would call majestic, but in this situation they gave the young man some repose. The rare moments like this were the ones that gave him the drive to keep going. Keep waking up in the morning, keep going to school, keep dealing with the throngs of people in this city that had some very mixed feelings about him...keep piloting.

"i really don't see how today could get any better." he chuckled out as he smiled and sat on the mesh bench, waiting for the train home.  
…

…

Ritsuko was the kind of woman who desired class in her life. Even though she wasn't afraid to get a little bit dirty or take a hands on approach at work she always tried to be as professional as she could. Her choice of automobile was unmistakably the same. A silver BMW e36 sedan, with all leather interior, heated seats, in dash touch screen computer and a custom cigarette lighter.

The only thing lacking class in that car was her passenger, Vasily. After being medically and psychologically cleared, it was the prerogative of the doctor to set him up for success.

The clothes they had provided him with were not to his liking. for now he was stuck with a pair of blue slacks, leather school loafers and a wifebeater. He had discarded the white button up against the wishes of the good doctor and stuffed it into the backpack that was on his lap. "don't lose that backpack" she said sternly to the boy. "i wasn't really planning on it" he said back somewhat sarcastically "I'm being serious you know, that backpack has everything you need in it. Your workers visa, your clearing packet, a copy of your medical records, your Japanese identification. A cell phone. A wallet with a bunch of very important stuff in it." she said as she pulled down her sun visor to cover her eyes from the setting sun.

"what kind of stuff?" Vasily asked

the doctor took a sharp exhale, trying to remember the entire list.

"um, contact cards, a call roster, picture ID for both the state and NERV. A bank card that connects to your bank account. The key card to your apartment. Twenty thousand yen in cash. stuff like that. You show that NERV ID to any cab driver or cop and they will know where to take you."

"i have an apartment? Fucking sweet, I though I would have like barracks or something" Vasily smiled

"don't get too excited, we didn't set you up with a penthouse or anything, its just a small place for you to live but its close enough to NERV that you could get here on foot in a pinch but for now...try to keep out of trouble okay?" she smiled wryly as the car came to a stop outside of a large gray concrete apartment building.

"your apartment number is on the card." she said as the boy stepped out "if you need anything don't hesitate to call me or one of the other handlers. My number is in your phone, but don't call me just to chat, I'm very busy"

"i cant imagine what I would call you to talk about...no offense" Vasily said.

"oh, one more thing, your personal effects from the hospital were transported here. Though, its NERV policy to confiscate anything...illegal"

"alright ma'am...uh...thanks." he said as he closed the door. _'fucking cunt took my gun'_

Ritsuko simply nodded before putting the car in drive and continuing down the street.

Vasily stood there for a moment, surveying his surroundings. There were literally hundreds of people around him. He was significantly larger than most of them. There were news stands and shops hocking all different kinds of street food, everywhere. The bottom floors of most of the buildings around him were restaurants and boutiques. Almost all of the buildings were towers with facades of either concrete or glass. There were police officers directing traffic and helping pedestrians on the streets. He noticed that none of them had firearms, only a collapsible baton on their hip

A few of the older men waiting for a bus across the street were looking at him with what could only be described with contempt. He narrowed his eyes at them and spat on the street before turning around and going through the large double doors into the building that would be his home for the foreseeable future. 

He pressed the button for the elevator, reached into his backpack and pulled out the wallet Ritsuko had issued him...no..not Ritsuko...NERV. The walled that NERV had given him. and pulled out the card that had the number 1808 on it. He pushed the button on the elevator that read 18 and leaned against the back wall and closed his eyes

_'sleep...privacy...safety...so fucking foreign'  
…_

…

…

"what do you mean he's been released?" Misato said in a scathing tone.

She was holding her phone to her ear with her left hand and setting up the table for Shinji's party with her free hand. She had piled the table with everything from fried comfort foods, to sweets, to soft drinks and alcoholic beverages.

Currently she was on the phone with her old friend, the good doctor Akagi. Before she could begin reading her the riot act as to why letting someone like the problem child have free reign of a city he'd never been to in a part of the world where the customs and courtesies as well as laws are completely unknown was a ludicrously terrible idea, she heard the bolt on the door flick over.

"never mind, gotta go" she hung up the phone and slid it into her pocket. As the young man that was her charge crossed the threshold into their apartment, she took in a deep breath and shouted

"surprise!"

as Shinji looked around at the living room, he saw that his guardian had taken quite a bit of time in preparing this little celebration. Small bundles of streamers hung from the ceiling, a large banner that said happy birthday hung lazily in the threshold of the hallway. The dinner table was covered in some of Shinji's favorite comfort foods. Most of it was the easier to make instant version, but he didn't care.

A smile crept across the young man's face. He walked over to Misato, and for the first time in a very long time, he hugged her because he was happy, not because he needed comfort.

"thank you, Misato-san" he said

"she wasn't the only one who did this" said a stern voice com from the edge of the kitchen. Shinji turned to see Asuka leaning up against the wall, her arms folded across her chest, a wry smile on her delicate features.

"happy birthday ya idiot"  
…

…

…

"_what do you mean he's been released?"_

Ritsuko knew she would get a lot of push back from the worrisome major. The military woman who was more than willing to send these children into harms way fighting the most dangerous enemy that mankind had ever faced, but got her hair in a knot when confronted with a white kid who was a little bitey.

"what I mean is, he's been dropped off in an apartment that's at least five miles away from yours. In a city that he doesn't know how to navigate. He has to have the same privileges as the other pilots, that written into our regulations."

she said as before puffing on her cigarette then flicking the gray ash into the glass ashtray on her balcony.

"he has four section 2 agents on him, these guy's are pro's at tracking people. Plus its not like he's hard to find. 'hey, follow the giant tattooed Russian guy around Tokyo-3' is not exactly a difficult task for guys like them. I'm sure everything will be fine. Besides, these orders came directly from the top, there's nothing that I can do about it except gripe, and we all know how that goes" she paused "hello?"

the only response she got was silence. She looked at her phone and saw that Misato had hung up long ago.

"...that bitch" she said as she took a drag of her cigarette. The only response she got was the purr from her orange tabby

"oh not you honey" she said as she scratched underneath the feline's chin

she thought for a minute before sighing and re-closing her bathrobe. '_maybe I should call that thug...make sure he hasn't killed anyone yet'_

…

…

…

a barren apartment. Two empty rooms and a third with a bed in it. Just a single metal framed hospital bed with a mattress on it, not blankets, no sheets, no pillows. The only other object in the concrete walled room was a pair of brown boxes with removable lids. The kind of boxes that police use to give the contents of a victims pockets back to the grieving family,

Vasily threw his backpack on the bed, knelt down and opened the box closest to him. A pair of bloody fatigue pants and a jacket, both cut to ribbons by the zealous doctors, trying to save his life. A pair of brown leather boots with buckles and laces. The laces were cut off but the buckles were intact , another deed by the doctors in the hospital. He slid his shoes off and put his boots on, his long blue trousers bunching up on the high neck of the boots.

A pair of dog tags that he unceremoniously laid on the upturned lid next to the bloody rags that used to be his clothes. A small assault pack, filled with various trinkets and tools everything from old rings to flashlights to unit patches from various armies that operated in the area.

The second box had more livable accoutrements. His hygiene kit with soap, toothbrush and razors, a pair of clippers. Several shirts both issued and found, all of them in tatters. Underwear and socks. He slid on a simple blue and white striped issued undershirt.

The two final things at the bottom of the box was an envelope full of photographs that he tossed on the lid with his dog tags and an earth brown parka with a fake fur collar he briefly remembered finding in a bombed out apartment when he was thirteen.

"this isn't even a quarter of the shit I had when I was with the borzoi." he said to himself

"it makes sense that they wouldn't let me have have weapons and vests and shit though." he said as he stood up and dusted himself off.

_'this place fucking sucks but at least its mine' _he thought to himself, sitting back down on his bare bed.

"its all mine...alone"

Vasily sat for a brief moment, a lost reverie of thoughts. The bombs, the bullets, the bayonets. The mass and wholesale slaughter of people on both sides. The snow and earth shaded red with the blood of tens of thousands of soldiers and civilians that lay dead after only a single day in the Amur. Friend and foe alike blown into pieces after artillery barrages, bombings or IED's.

He thought for a moment of the borzoi, what they were doing, how the girls were. The thousands of voices from the underground that avenged the killings and stood up for themselves by killing right back with a brutality that was unmatched in this century. The Chinese border towns that were promised a safe haven, bombed into terror and burned to the ground

he thought of the people who's lives were cut short by the war. The ones he killed himself. The detainees he beat and whipped and left for dead or perforated with bullets. The women he locked into suicide vests and turned over to authorities, only to watch the so called saviors die too.

"whoa, fuck! That's enough of that shit!" he stood up quickly and grabbed his coat "gotta keep myself occupied"

…

…

..._  
_an intimate meal between the few people that Shinji called his family. A day spent with the young woman that had held a special place in his heart for many years. The gifts he had received were simply a bonus to him. He had expected nothing but a normal and dull day. The guitar that Misato had purchased him was something that he would hold close to his heart. even if he didn't know how to play it and it was a cheaply made Chinese knockoff. And though the gifts that Asuka had bought him may have not had the same amount of thought, he still put on and wore that Eisenhower jacket without hesitation.

Of course as usual Misato had gotten completely obliterated on cheap beer and sake, much to his guardian's chagrin he had forgone the spirits, however Asuka had one beer. When Shinji tried to interject she simply said

"listen guy" why had she not called him an idiot? "I'm German. I've been drinking beer since I was bottle fed, I'm pretty sure this rice water wont do much"

After dinner he put away the uneaten food and clean up the mess that was left over from his birthday dinner. He sat there cross legged in his new jacket, new guitar in his lap. He could not have felt more content.

_'maybe this is a new chapter in my life...so this is what being an adult feels like'_

"look at the big tough guy" a familiar voice chided him from the other side of the room.

Shinji turned around to see his redheaded roommate in her usual position of untouchable arrogance. The warm tone that she had struggled with earlier was now beginning to fade back into the usual voice of the critical girl who covered everything in sarcasm and pushed it ten feet away from her. Shinji blushed and waited a minute before responding

"haha, I'm no tough guy" he let out a chuckle before speaking, then turned back away from her and plucked the G string on his guitar. Muffled twang filled the room.

"no...i suppose you're not...but you are a nice guy" she added in tone hat was sincere enough to sound foreign coming out of her mouth.

"hey" she added. "I'm going to take a walk..."

Shinji turned back to her but didn't say anything.

"wanna come?" she asked disinterested

"...sure"

…

…

…

gray room. Back in the gray room. The room with one window. The stripped room that smells of a grimy hospital and the chemicals belched out of the factories nearby, tainting the air. Pushups. First ten. Then twenty more. Then thirty more. Then forty more. Roll over. flutterkicks. First twenty. then forty. Then sixty. Then eighty. Stand up. Don't catch your breath. Squats. Twenty. Then forty. Then sixty. Then eighty.

Rei hugged one knee at a time to her chest as she stretched her legs out. She dove into a pushup then tucked her legs under her body and sprang up. Once she hit thirty she was done. Once she hit thirty she could rest.

She stood in place after her last jump and caught her breath. She grabbed her towel off her bedpost and wiped her forehead and shoulders off. She knew that Shinji's party would have been the better option than spending the night alone, working out in her apartment naked. But she was a creature of routine. She didn't want to ruin the day by dealing with Asuka's chiding. Asuka's bullshit. Misato overbearing behavior towards her surrogate son.

Although now it wasn't just annoying. She didn't know how to deal with possibility of someone criticizing her new found emotions.

Pullups. First five. Get down. Another five. Get down. Another five. Get down. Five more. Come on. Just two more now. Muscle failure.

_'I'll make twenty one day' _ she thought with a slight pang of disappointment

she looked at her phone as she dried off her face and hair. Contemplating calling the boy. Maybe it would be a little gauche to call him this early. Maybe she didn't care. She felt very conflicted.

_'is this what being a teenage girl feels like?' _she thought to herself _'this is unpleasant'_

…

…

…

"hello?" the young man answered his phone after rummaging through his pockets for a minute.

"where are you?" the voice on the other end of the phone was Ritsuko. "section 2 said that you left your apartment almost an hour ago"

"I'm just taking a walk, ma'am...was I not supposed to?" Vasily asked as he walked down the well lit street, dotted with groups of people going out to eat and get boozy.

"well, not exactly, I mean you were supposed to be there to sign for your household goods you were supposed to be issued" she said with a twinge of lazy irritation in her voice "i had to go over there as your guardian and sign for them."

"i...uh...i wasn't told there would be a delivery ma'am" Vasily said, strolling to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk, thinking over the last bit of Ritsuko's sentence

_'guardian?'_

"its written in the initial counseling packet that was in your backpack." he could almost hear her rolling her eyes over the phone

"well...i cant uh...i didn't read it, ma'am" he said eying a grouping of vending machines just down the street "hey uh...Does this fucking card work in the vending machines around here?" he added before pulling out a pack of cigarettes Ritsuko had given him and lighting one

"the short answer is yes. Read your packet. And stop cussing so much it makes you sound like a foreigner"

"i am a foreigner" he chuckled blowing smoke out his nose and mouth "I'll read my packet when I get home, ma'am"

"i know you're a foreigner. Just. Try to keep it together...Are you OK? You sound slower than earlier. Are you lost?"

"no no. I'm not...lost. I'm just really fucking tired, ma'am. I just needed to unwind, its been a crazy fuckin day." he took another drag of his cigarette.

"is there anything else you needed from me ma'am?" he asked as politely as she could

"head home as soon as you're done..unwinding." the bottle blond to doctor took a drag of her own cigarette before continuing "and if you need anything...or just someone to talk to don't hesitate to call me."

before Vasily could reply she hung up on him. He pressed end on his own line and put his phone back in his pocket. He strolled over to the vending machines and sized up his choices. He couldn't read any of it.

"OK..." he looked over across the street at a local man in his mid twenties on his cell phone.

"hey, buddy!" Vasily called to him"wanna help me? I'm illiterate" he said pointing to vending machines

the man simply shook his head, then spit on the ground before turning away and walking down the street away from

"alright then, fuck you too you fucking fag" he called to him as he took out his card and swiped it in the machine in front of him. "what the fuck is with people spitting on the ground at me?"

He pushed two random buttons hoping it would dispense some food. Instead the only thing he got was a large purple and green aluminum can. He inspected it, looking for anything that would give him an idea of what it was. He was hoping he wouldn't get a mouthful of clam juice or alkali water.

He popped the can open and smelled it before taking a drink.

"...holy fuck that is fucking delicious" Vasily said in a deadpan tone as he drank a tall can of what had appeared to be some kind of canned cocktail.

"does this have alcohol in it?" he asked himself aloud in Russian, raising an eyebrow.

he tried to read the kanji scattered all over the day glow purple and green camouflaged can. But he simply couldn't process it. He hadn't learned to read Japanese, only speak it. However, his taste buds being assaulted by this sugary processed concoction left no doubt in his mind. "they sell alcohol from vending machines in the street here...Fuck. Yes." he chugged it and threw the can on the ground before buying another one and getting to hear the metallic clunk and thud of the can and the buzzing of the machine. He bought several more and stuffed them into his backpack for later in the night. He popped one of the cans open and started drinking. He pulled out his phone, trying to use his GPS to get to his NERV owned apartment.

It was all in kanji.

"fuck..."

…

…

…

"so whaddya say we go get a little something to drink huh birthday boy?" She said, untucking her hair from her bomber jacket and let it drape elegantly over her shoulders. Asuka's tone would have been wearing a sneer if it were a human face.

The young woman sauntered down the streets with a confidence that when compared with Shinji's calm demeanor could almost be considered haughty as was her style. Shinji could only shove his hands in the pockets of his new jacket and nod in agreement.

"whats got you all down there, starchild?" she asked critically once again.

Shinji thought for a moment? Down? no. wistful? Definitely

"I'm fine Asuka. Its just..." his thoughts trailed off as he thought of the Rei. He thought of the feel of her lips. He thought of the feel of her in his arms. It made him feverishly blush. At the moment he did he instantly regretted thinking about her. Shinji knew that any sign of weakness, emotion or really anything he did at all would get a harsh reaction from the redhead. But in the end he heard nothing.

"excuse me"

an unfamiliar voice. Shinji looked up to see a man he had never met before standing in front of him on the street corner. Asuka was no longer beside him. She was about ten meters back, standing dead in her tracks.

"I'm sorry." he said as he stood in front of him, not knowing what to do.

The man looked over Shinji to see Asuka standing back behind him, her hands were balled into fists bus he was too far away to see that clearly in the night.

"hey! i know you" he said to her, his posture loosening up and a slight smile creeping across his face.

Shinji was confused. He looked at the man one more time to see if maybe he recognized him. A beaten jacket. Laceless tan boots. Tattoos on his hands. White. This wasn't anyone he'd ever met before.

"Shinji come back here now, we're going home." Asuka said in a tone that sounded almost protective. She began to walk towards the two of them.

"wait wait wait!" the man said hurriedly "please uh, I don't remember your name. I don't know how to get home. I cant use the GPS on my phone, its all in kanji." he said looking worried

"not my problem dog boy, call a cab." she said "Shinji come on. We're going home"

"you know this guy Asuka?" Shinji asked cluelessly, turning to her and pointing at the man with his thumb

"yeah, we uh...kinda know each other." Shinji turned around as the man answered. "I'm Vasily."

he stuck his hand out. Shinji didn't shake it, he simply backed up. He was beginning to get very off put by the uncomfortable tension of the situation. He had never known Asuka to be nervous around anything but this man made her skin crawl a little bit

"maybe it would best if we just left" Shinji said. Vasily lowered his hand somewhat upset at the rebuff. His face turning into a disappointed frown

"yeah c'mon Shinji. Lets go home, we can get drunk some other time" Asuka said as she waved him over to her.

"uh, hey red, this backpack is full of booze, if you just tell me how to get home I'll share" Vasily said, in disbelief about having to broker a deal for directions back to his own house. All the same it would be an opportunity to get to know the knew pilot. Dr. Akagi had not been nearly as informative as he would have liked.

The three of them stood there in impasse for a few seconds. The two Europeans began to get irritated at the situation.

'_I mustn't run away'_

"alright" Shinji's voice came as an unexpected knife through the tension. In that moment, Vasily looked at the young man in front of him and then back to Asuka

"you alright with that?" Shinji asked his long time roommate.

Asuka didn't even want to drink, she just felt obligated to do something nice for Shinji. She was pretty ambivalent about his choice, however nice it was to see him making one on his own. she obliged.

"alright, fuck it...Lets go to the park." she said rolling her eyes.

Another slight smile cracked over Vasily's face. He patted Shinji on the shoulder then walked past him to Asuka.

"fuck yeah, lets get bombed!" he said opening his backpack but Asuka stopped him.

"if you try anything funny, dog boy, its going to be a bad night for you." she chastised him

"oh, fuck off" he laughed and smiled. "I'm not going to do anything funny"

…

…

…

the park around the corner from the young pilot's apartment building was usually full of children and parents during the day. The fields were full of people flying kites and playing football. the jungle gym was usually crawling with kindergarteners trying to climb across the sand on the monkey bars that Shinji and Vasily were sitting on. Asuka had taken the low road and opted for a swing

the three pilots sat on the playground drinking and talking. Asuka begrudgingly chatted with the new pilot, mostly just to keep an eye on Shinji. Shinji on the other hand was showing a rare degree of personal interest in Vasily.

"it says 'dragon fruit' on the can" Shinji said as he tossed one of the tall cans to Asuka who deftly caught it

"dragon fruit? Like...its a fruit drink?" Vasily asked slightly slurring, taking another swig of the can's carbonated contents. "i thought this was malt liquor"

"no, its like an alcoholic energy drink." Asuka added in. "how many of these have you had?"

"uh...like three?" Vasily thought for a second "yeah I'm pretty fuckin sure this is my third one?"

"i would stop if I were you. These things are really strong" Shinji cautioned him.

"yeah, you might be right" Vasily said.

Vasily looked up at the sky and kicked his feet back and forth loosely as he dangled off the edge of the monkey bars. Shinji looked at the new pilot for a moment before looking up at the sky himself. There were no stars to be seen as the ambient light of the city drowned them out.

Vasily thought for a moment. His brain clouded from the booze and from the hectic last couple days.

"what is there to do in your downtime here?" Vasily asked, not taking his eyes off the sky

"downtime?" Shinji thought for a moment. He didn't really do anything besides, school piloting and training.

"well, most of my day is taken up by school and work at NERV...Same with Asuka" Shinji said, swishing his drink around

"his favorite pastime is moping" Asuka chided

"well, according to the briefing I got from the blonde woman, I wont be going to school. I'll be just kind of...sitting around, waiting for a call."

"oh great, we have another wonder girl on our hands. I suppose you're one of those people that live to work right?"

"i don't know how I feel about this job, but I loved my old job" Vasily said shifting his gaze downward to look directly at Asuka.

"what was your old job, Vasily?" Shinji asked, in between sips.

"i was a...well, I was fighter" Vasily said sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck

"like a boxer?" Shinji asked

"he was a terrorist" Asuka stated flatly "i did some reading on the Borzoi, ya know you guys were in a lot of news articles"

"i don't think you understand the big picture." Vasily's brow furrowed at the accusation. "i did some things that may not be considered OK, but I did them for my country."

he jumped off the monkey bars and stretched.

"i really don't need to sit here and take this. Hey man, can you uh, show me how to work this thing?" Vasily said pulling his phone out of his pocket and handing it to Shinji.

Shinji turned the screen on and went to the GPS app on Vasily's phone. There was only one address in it, a few miles away from his own apartment. He turned on the navigation and set it to foot directions before quickly saving his number in the phone and tossing it Vasily.

"there you go. If you get lost. I put my number in your phone. Its the name marked 03."

Vasily smiled and helped Shinji off the monkey bars. He gave him a pat on the shoulders and smiled

"thanks man, you know something? I like you" he said putting on his backpack and putting his phone away.

He turned to Asuka, then back to Shinji, then back to Asuka.

"well...this was uh..fun. But I gotta go. Thanks for the chat." and with that he turned and walked to the main street, making a left towards his building just a few short miles away.

Asuka sat on the swing, arms crossed, boring a hole into Vasily's back with her eyes.

"i really don't trust that guy" she said after a moment, sanding up and tossing the can in the general direction of park bathrooms.

"he doesn't seem so bad Asuka. You don't really like any new people."

"you'll see Shinji...never trust a Russian"

…

…

…

that's chapter three. Been a long time coming. Hope it didn't suck. Chapter four will come whenever I get the time.


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